Feeling blah

i feel like i’m just spiraling down. I caught a panic attack at work the other day.. or at least i think it was a panic attack.. my breathing was crazy and i was crying hysterically..and just like that it was over… now people have been asking me what caused it and i say i dont know it was just feelings, but i know exactly what it was. I was feeling down and depressed… thoughts of suicide and voices in my head were taunting me and making me feel like shit. I do feel like complete shit though. i dont want to do anything but i make myself. i feel just like a shell of myself.. i went out and did some photography, i didnt want to initially but i went and i had a good time but now i’m home and i’m  back to feeling like shit.

I really need to learn change. I feel like i havent set boundaries and i feel like people dont respect me and i feel worthless… i skipped out on a therapy appointment… not on purpose but because i forgot… it’s like i didnt care to remember. i dont know i’m just … down….



so next year if i make it… no more nice girl… i’m going to take people at face value… i’m tired of having to internally explain other peoples’ behavior… what i see is what i’m going to get and i’m going to start taking people at face value.

lets see where this goes..



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s