I have so much to say

I’m home alone right now , hubby is out with his friends.. i dont go crazy like i used to when he used to go out.. i use this time for me… to read… to watch tv.. to think ..

so i went to the movies with my girlfriend… for those who dont know, i have a secret relationship with my best female friend but anyway.. i broke up with her only she doesnt know it yet… i did it because she couldnt remember our anniversary.. and i just felt that if she dont remember it then it’s not important enough for her because i’m terrible at remembering dates and i remember that one… so yeah i’ve been distant… not really talking to her… i dont know how i’m going to tell her it’s over but you know… whatever…

So i found pictures of my old therapist and i am no longer attracted of course but i wanted to see him so i went online and i searched.. i know exactly how to find him..i even found out his phone number and his address… well i’ve always known his address but i just recently found his phone number… now the question is… will i call.. NO NO NO i wont do that… i wouldnt go that far.. sometimes i ask myself why do i want to find this stuff out and it’s only to have the information.. not that i’m going to do anything with it…

Next, i’m carrying on this sexual relationship online with this author and we’ve been talking for about 6 months but today i dumped him too… i dont know maybe im on a dumping spree… he’s an author so his words are amazing lol i know it’s funny to say but we have alot of cyber online sex stuff but he’s amazing with words lol.. he really gets my imagination going and very stimulating… anyway i must have started to like him more than i should.. and i say that because i dumped him because i missed him.. he doesnt message me as much as he used to.. i mean not even on a bathroom breat to say ” hey cant talk but i’m thinking of you” anything like that but you know… it’s whatever.. so i dumped him for that …

maybe i just want to be alone… i just want to read… and film my videos and that’s it.. my husband has no idea about these other relationships… but yeah.. the author said he would try to be better but at this point i dont know what to feel about it.. why should i have to bring stuff to your attention??

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