Denial? what now?

i started thinking to myself that i might not be bipolar… i mean my therapist didnt confirm this or deny it .. as a matter of fact.. i dont think i’ve even mentioned it to her.. but i dont know.. i just dont think so… i mean i havent had any lows or highs.. i’ve been pretty stable for months now… i’m not on medication either. i dont know.. maybe i’m cured??

I have had a panic attact a few weeks ago… maybe like 2 months ago or something but i was under alot of stress at the time.. can bipolar be cured? could it be that i’m just balanced right now but there will be a time where i will go either way.. at the same time i start thinking doesnt everyone…? i mean i’m sure even “normal” people have days that they are high or low… that’s part of what makes us human i think…

maybe i’m not making any sense… I mean i’ve got issues like everyone else does but i try to handle them in the best way possible. My therapist says that i’m rational and i’m very self aware.. i can agree with that but that’s only because i’m affirmative.. i’m always a go with the flow kind of person and things rarely bother me.. of course there are things that bother me and annoy me… but not all the time and not every day.. i’m starting to doubt if i’m mentally ill at all… who knows…

i mean if you’re a long time reader of my blog i’ve had moments and times when i was deeply depressed and times when i felt “hypomanic.” but i honestly havent had an up or a down in along time… so what now?



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