My last therapy session

the way i’m going to document my sessions is from the most recent to the least recent… i have a few notes from when they were taken… so lets see… this session was February 15th 2018…

So i start off our session letting my therapist know that i’m annoyed with myself because i’ve been clumsy lately… everything i touch ends up on the floor… ugh so frustrating… she laughed it off and said that’s how life is every day for her… and we had a laugh together…. i feel so comfortable with my therapist so we can share a laugh every now and then… I told her that to prove my point i had sent pictures to my bestfriends showing everything i had dropped and spilled that day… it was like 5 different things and that wasnt even everything that i dropped and spilled… lol

she asked me if i was going somewhere that she doesnt recall me ever having so much makeup… lol i know i looked different cause i had eyeliner… lipstick and color contact lenses… so maybe that was it… she said it looks pretty…

i asked her how was her valentines day she said that she likes holidays but she’s more the type to go to a party and hang out with friends… i can definitely relate to that.. thats how i am… i told her that a party was something i wanted to do and my coworker brought it up… but it didnt end up happening.. a few coworkers wanted to go but it never happened…

i also tell her how i’ve grown disgusted by odd shapes… i really dont know how to explain it .. it’s just weird.

i also talked about someone who was promoted at my job and now she’s a manager… i really dont like her telling me what to do.. i know my job.. i’ve been doing it for over a year … i really dont need someone telling me how to do my job… …

anyway now to more serious conversation.. i told her about one of my homeless friends and how i feel pressure to help him.. but i cant because i really dont have the means to help… but my therapist really told me there’s really little that i can do and he’s going to have to find the right resources to get what he wants…. i have 2 homeless friend and they ask me for money.. they ask me for space in my house to store their things.. i really dont have that because all of my closets are full…

it does give me guilt that i cant help them… like at the time he asked me for money cause he hasnt eaten and he’s hungry and i wasnt sure if i should get him food and give him money.. she said if i can give him food dont give him money.. hospitals will not leave him starving and their are social workers in the hospitals that help with people in that type of situation… i just felt like i wish i can do more… but one thing about them (my friend and his pregnant girlfriend) well i dont know about her cause i never met her but one thing i know about him is he has Body Odor and i think that’s hindering others from helping him… honestly i’ve known this man since 1995 and he’s always had some sort of B/O… i mean i’ve told him many times years ago but i guess he is unaware of it himself… shes asks me if i feel like i have to step in and do something and i do feel that way.. or i did before speaking to her.. as a matter of fact i still do a little … i told her you know me so well…

i told her that i know he wants to offer up my couch or something but i cant do that.. maybe if i i was single or something i can for like a night or two then when it comes time to kick him out .. i cant see myself doing that either.. knowing they have nowhere to go… i cant see people that i know down and out like that because i feel a responsibility to help them as a friend… i dont know how to emotionally detach from this situation but she said i have to see the situation for what it is.. they are going to have to figure something out for the long run…and staying a night or 2 wont help them if anything it will hold them back…

i told my homeless friend that it would be so much easier if he were by himself… she told me to say to him…” look this is really hard for me to say and i dont want to hurt your feelings and i’ve thought about this for a while now how to say it because i dont want to sound mean but maybe because of all the moving around, you really havent been able to wash your clothes or take a shower that you’re comfortable with and it’s left a little bit of a scent on you.”



  1. My brother in law had an employee who was living out of her car. Made me so sad. Anyway, I was so impressed with him that he got her some new polo shirts like they wear and some febreze. It’s hard to talk about though and I don’t know what he said to her but she accepted his gift.

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  2. I would suggest buying a package of tee shirts from the dollar store with some socks and deodorant. I believe you could get it all for 15$, instead of giving him money. Are they even interested in finding employment? It doesn’t sound like it. I think you therapist is right about not letting them stay because what are they doing to help their situation? They can not rely on you. It would make you feel better to purchase a few hygiene items and leave it at that. I hope that doesn’t sound harsh. I’ve been homeless before, living out of my vehicle, and it took me to change that situation.

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