I’m a Stalker… at least online… hehehe

well this is one of those blogs where i’m quite embarrassed to write and i’ve been meaning to write this for some time..i just didnt know how to break it down…

well i finally did confess to my therapist that i have been internet stalking my old therapist… i just cant help it.. i love looking at his face… he’s so handsome… now when i started doing it i had to see him everyday now.. it’s only when he comes to mind maybe once a week or so… i know this is so pathetic… but i guess it has to do with my erotic transference situation… it was left unresolved and i really don’t know how to resolve it… i wish me and my old therapist would have talked it over but he wanted to just ignore it and not talk about it so now i’m just left with these feelings for him…

so i must say.. i know alot more about him than i should… not like i’m going to do anything with that information… you know.. but yeah i know more than i should…

i just feel that these feelings would have been resolved had he discussed and worked it out with me.. but damn he’s just so handsome.. i told my therapist that his wife is so lucky… she can jump on his bones any time she wanted lol ( i didnt tell my therapist that part)

7 comments

  1. Whew! Sigh of relief, she’s not stalking me! 🙂 Humor as coping mechanism, I’m feeling the first bands of the clouds of a depressive hurricane coming sometime, may it stay offshore forever.

    All the info about your crush, I wondered if my symptom of having a crush on several girls all the way through grade school and high school is consistent with bipolar, even though at that time I didn’t experience the depression nearly as bad as I get it now. What do you think?

    It tracked into adulthood, and I still remember my specific favorite fellow souls: students, teachers, friends that I have loved, and still love, and on the blog-i-verse, several people I’ve grown to adore (although I’ve only successfully stalked one and attempted to stalk one other online). They’re all still just beautiful. I don’t think there’s anything really wrong with that, as I picked one to marry and only and always (so far) want her in that way.

    Do you have any opinion or professionally provided information, or a link perhaps, to help me understand if it might be?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. i also use humor in that way… and i do hope your depression takes a detour and doesnt show at all…
      now as far as your crushes… i’m not sure if it’s a bipolar thing but during a hypomanic phase you can become more flirtatious than normal… so it may have something to do with it… i have bipolar 2 so i only have experience with hypomania…
      i’ve stalked alot of people lol maybe that is a bipolar thing or it can be a borderline thing… who knows because i have traits of borderline

      try to google crushes and bipolar… see what comes up… best of luck!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. All I found was “Deon stares down Depression Hurricane, Wishes he could ignore Hypomania” “Slack Tide Dreams,” “Deon ❤ 's BronxBiPolarChick", "Why do you say 'Fuck BiPolar' if you don't love it?" and "Why are you still using Google?"

        Liked by 1 person

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