He Reached Out

well last night my former bestfriend (the male) reached out to me for the first time in 3 years… and i have to tell you at that moment i looked at my phone and i see his name… i immediately felt scared…. anxiety…. so much so that i didn’t open the message immediately… so many feelings were going through my mind… i just didn’t know what to do but i remember what my therapist and i discussed and she said leave the ball in his court because he knows where i stand meaning i did want to reestablish a relationship with him again…

the last things he said to me back in 2014 were very harsh and hurtful..

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the voice messages on the bottom were pretty much me crying and asking for forgiveness… and letting him know that if he finds it in his heart to forgive me that he wont regret it.. but you know based on this last message you can understand why i felt so much anxiety…

so last night i get this from him…

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i tried to keep it light and sweet… i dont want to press anything in it.. but you know what i really dont like these negative feelings… i’m so scared that they would leave me again after i love them all over again… meaning both of my friends… i really dont want to get hurt again…

i’m scared and feeling so many things right now…

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