Self aware and bipolar….

today i asked my therapist if she thinks i’m bipolar….? well honestly we’ve only had 5 sessions but in her opinion i’m too “self aware” she feel i do more work than the average person… she means that when i’m in a conversation with someone i always gauge to see if someone is upset at me… for instance when i blew up on my manager..i felt great to tell my manager to lay off of me but i also immediately felt guilt about my blow up and started to think about damage control…

i think i may want to talk more about me being self aware… i told her how i came to be diagnosed by my old therapist that i was in a hypomanic state… but since she’s never seen me that way… she hasnt really come to any opinions about it… i was sad in her office today… crying about some things that were bothering me… i’m going to write about it tomorrow… i just took my seroquel so i’m in between awake and asleep right now… lol

i guess maybe she cant picture me doing anything stupid… i’m not sure but she did schedule an appointment for me for next week… so that’s good…

6 comments

  1. Hi BronxBiPolarChick,

    Why do you still question having a bipolar diagnosis? Did you doctor and/or tdoc say it was still not definitive? If that is the case, I hope you’re not, but I do understand someone wanting to put a label on feelings that are distressing.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Sometimes new mental health practitioners like to see the patients/clients in the episode to really feel sure. Otherwise you have to have some major league stories to tell.

        Have you ever considered writing down some of the events that confirmed your diagnosis? It’s not just for interesting story-telling, but as part of the psych history. I’ve had some notable behavior that I remember, other stuff I had to literally pull from hospital records and my husband’s memory. Just something to consider.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sometimes they can be hard to remember. I don’t know about you, but I sometimes had “blackouts” during my manias or when just hypomanic I regarded those times as “stable”. As for depression, sometimes they’ll be just horrible, but for me it’s interesting how I can forget the pain months or years after-the-fact.

        Liked by 1 person

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