All the things i Couldnt Say…

Most know that i had or I should say, still have this huge crush and lust for my old therapist and i still have so much bent up things that i wish i could have said to him but i know were inappropriate… but even so, i still wanted to tell him… One time he came up with an idea to write a letter to my former best friend and then just burn it to release the energy of the relationship… at least symbolically… so i’m going to write one to him… to my former therapist.

Dear _______,

I have to say from the moment i first laid eyes on you, i was smitten. I was extremely attracted to you and that partnered with your voice, personality, and body was a recipe for my attraction to you… I took everything you said to me seriously and followed your advice to the best of my ability. Not because i wanted to impress you, but to show you that i was working on myself… I really looked forward to our weekly appointments… to see your face… to have your eyes on me… i couldnt help but get excited by it… i would go home and fantasize about you. I know this may sound creepy but it’s been a long time since i’ve been attracted to anyone…and it had to be you… that reddish brown hair… blue eyes… oh man… i just miss you so much.

I sometimes think about if you would one day email me and let me know that there’s an opening in your new center… and you would like me to fill it… i would RUN to you… i just feel like i need to see you… our last session when i told you how i was feeling, those last few mins of silence … inside my mind was racing… after i told you i wanted to have sex with you, i had to get out of there because i didnt want to disrespect you… but i wanted you so bad…. i wanted to touch you, kiss you… just…anything to just be closer than i was…

i know i will never see you again but in the back of my mind… i hope i would… i just miss you….

maybe next lifetime…   =(

(end Letter)

unrequited love sucks…

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