Yesterday’s therapy session

I must say that I am so happy that I decided to stick with the new therapist… she’s amazing, informative, and smart… I’m really so happy that it’s working out.

We talked about so many things and I’m going to go through as many as I can remember πŸ™‚ 

I gotta say she’s very perceptive, right off the back she noticed that I looked stressed and agitated… I told her that I think I’m going through depression… 

I explained to her that my hubby seems to be a trigger for me and he triggered me with what he said… explained to her how I feel like his words “cut” me and I was just spiraling down from there… told her how I cried at the job and stuff… 

I informed her that I know hubby doesn’t trust me and he makes that very clear to me. She asked what was his reaction when he saw I was put off? I told her he said he would leave me alone. 

I told her it’s hard for me to talk to him because he becomes defensive and dismissive… she suggested that I don’t speak in the moment… let myself cool down because the worst way to handle a problem is in the moment when we just become reactive and not really proactive…. she suggested That I  set up a day and time with him where we can have a conversation with him about what bothered me… I believe that’s great advice… I also mentioned to her I was also thinking of writing a letter, as suggested by one of my readers. (Don’t know if she wants me to mention her name) my therapist loved that idea as well. Oh man she’s amazing…

Also told her about the ghost πŸ‘» that I see at my job… he’s usually a black shadowy figure but lately he’s been showin himself to me where I know what he looks like.  She asked me if the ghost reminded me of anyone that I have had in my life? I said no cause he really doesn’t… 

she asked me if they interact with me I said no but when I was young they used to haunt me and touch my hands and hair and stuff… 

told her about my possible eviction from my apartment and she said hubby and I should come up with a financial plan so that this won’t happen again… 

I told her about my fascination with my old therapist… and how I felt “crush” feelings for him… she explained how totally normal that is and she doesn’t think it’s nuts at all… the intimate connection can be developed and mistaken for a crush because we don’t talk to our therapist the way we would other people in our lives… she asked me if there’s any way I can transfer the way I spoke to him and things I said to hubby.

I hope she doesn’t reveal this to my old therapist… 😦

I said no if I was just as bluntly honest with hubby I think I would hurt his feelings and I don’t want to do that…

I told her I internalize my emotions and let them build up but I express myself on my blog. 

We also talked about medication and maybe seroquel wasn’t the right one for me so she made an appointment with the psychiatrist to maybe switch up… 

Let’s see what happens…