bipolar bipolar 2 borderline personality disorder

drama day

you know i really try to be a good friend to all… i try to be a good person overall… sometimes i dont know if i’m doing a good job at it or i’m failing on some level especially after making my sister mad at me last night… so anyway she’s still very much mad at me..

today i had to go to my mothers’ adult day care where she was having some kind of prom day… i had a good time.. i danced… i ate… i even messed up the electric slide… lol i havent done that dance in so long… i was turning the wrong way and i was bumping into people… i was a mess but it was so much fun…mind you it was not even 12pm when all of the dancing and eating was happening… =) i felt that it was important to my mother that i be there.. and i want to be there for her as much as i can…

 

so yeah, my sister was there and i can tell that she was still upset with me.. she was giving me one word answers and nothing else… i asked her what was wrong… she said “i’m tired” but i know my sister well enough to know that she’s pissed… it’s ok … hopefully she will get over it soon…

when my mother stepped away to the rest room and it was just us both… i felt the animosity, and uncomfortably sat there looking through my phone…checking out my facebook and instagram…

afterward, i went to see a coworker who got verbally and physically assaulted by her man… she was crying and said she couldnt stop crying.. a part of me sitting there at that party wanted to go and be at her side… but i couldnt do that… i KNEW that staying with my mother was more important… at least in my mind it was…

so i went to see her when i was done with the party and i felt terrible for her… and i’m glad that she trusted and confided in me enough to share the darks of her life with me… i always had a problem seeing that i’m a person who could be trusted… i guess in some cases i’m not very trust worthy and in others i am.. so i didnt stay withh er too long… only maybe a few mins to make sure she was ok… but honestly… i dont think i have anyone that would do that for me… who knows… but then again when i’m feeling down or depressed… i dont really voice that stuff in a forum where my friends would have access to seeing it…such as facebook or instagram…

kind of a double edge… i dont know…. what do you think?

4 comments

  1. I think you are a good friend and I think your sisters problem is her own. She can’t expect you to keep up with and go along with her lies. It’s ridiculous. You are always worrying about her and trying to be a good sister and she just sounds selfish :/ is she the baby of the family ?

    Liked by 1 person

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