bipolar bipolar 2 borderline personality disorder

Paranoia

So I noticed that my paranoia has been kicking in lately. That’s why really haven’t written in here as often as I would like. I just keep thinking that my husband has been reading these blogs and it really bothers me and really effects my consistency of writing in here… So much has happened in these last few days since I’ve been back and I feel like I can’t even write about it. I mean maybe he hasn’t been reading them because he has not confronted me on any of the things that I’ve written. He hasnt asked to me about sexual harassment at work. He hasnt asked me about how i felt about my therapist which is a big deal and something i’m really working on getting over… thank goodness…

i’ll be heading over to coney island today to shoot some pictures so i’ll be leaving in a half hour or so…

A lot of my relatives are from over there so I figured I would meet up with my aunt. My aunt is actually around my age may be a year or two or even three older than me… So we are not that far in age. So hopefully she’s not tired enough from work where she would just want to stay home because I would really like to see her.  I haven’t seen her in quite a few years I haven’t been around there.

So I just iterate literally told my sister i was going to Coney Island and i noticed every time I have a plan that I want to do, she always tries to make it something that she wants to do as if she’s always trying to change my plan and I really don’t appreciate that. That also falls in line with my control issues like i dont like people telling me what to do, where to go…who i can and cant talk to…I just don’t like it.  anyway lets see how today goes… hopefully this paranoia will go away…

 

 

4 comments

  1. I go through this exact same paranoia sometimes with my hubby. I do all of my blogging , all of my therapy….etc from my phone and I know he uses my phone. He has all of my passwords to everything and I know in the past , like five years ago, he felt perfectly entitled to go through my communications whenever he wanted. So now every time I’m going through anything I’m paranoid and I look for signs that he already knows about it before I talk to him. But it does sometimes effect the honesty and reallness in my posts. If I’m paranoid I hold back.

    Liked by 1 person

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