Lust…smh


so yeah after yesterdays session which felt so surreal by the way… so many things are left unsaid because i was trying to be respectful… usually he ends the sessions but yesterday i ended the session… i felt if i stood longer i would make a move on him physically and then screw everything up… like i said … i didnt want to disrespect him but he looked so damn sexy sitting across from me… ugh… if i only had another chance.. if i only could rewind to yesterday and do everything over… oh man.. i think i would have been a bad girl… lol

so now i’m home… sipping on some pina colada with liquor of course and i’m just trying to think of ways to get over him… honestly i think if i had sex with him just once, it would be out of my system and i could go on and i’ll be ok but i have all of this bent up sexual frustration and tension for him that will never get released by him… ugh it sucks…

but anyway just trying to think of ways to get over this lust… i was even googling it… lol so it’s going to be tough because one of the ways is to write down everything negative about them… honestly… i dont know not one negative thing about him… he’s sexy, smart,funny, nice body, sexy voice, and professional… damn… really going to miss him… so i’m here trying to think of negative things about him and i come up with nothing…

i also have to stop writing or thinking about him in sexual ways… which is very difficult for me… i pictured myself after our session…me standing up and unbuttoning my shirt and just going to town on him.. but that’s just me …. i dont know what to do….

i was thinking of going to my ex… he has the same qualities as my therapist does…and even kind of resembles him a little and take out all my sexual frustrations on him…. but i dont know… i know he’s not speaking to me because i canceled our last date… but its ok.. i know he would forgive me when i come around…

ugh.. how do you get over your lust?

Categories: bipolar, bipolar 2, borderline personality disorderTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

8 comments

  1. I do bad things that I end up regretting. You did the right thing by not doing anything. Aren’t you still married? You would have regretted doing that, trust me. And the regret is something that you can never stop or make go away.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. your’e bad. sounds like me…lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. your in a tricky sticky mess! did your therapist know you liked him in a sexual way? did you ever talk about that? x

    Liked by 1 person

    • I attempted to tell him but he stopped me… I think it was last month…I think he had an idea but I told him that when I’m near him I undress him with my eyes… truth… told him yesterday… ugh yeah sucks for me…

      Like

  4. Are you still feeling hypo? Sounds like it! Have you restarted meds yet?

    Liked by 1 person

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