bipolar bipolar 2 borderline personality disorder

Depression Triggers in Bipolar

I remember being depressed as early as 11 years old…i remember laying in bed crying because i was so sad…and i know you’re probably thinking, what does an 11 year old have to be depressed about… well… at that time it was self esteem issues… thoughts of suicide went through my mind even at that tender young age… never thought i was pretty enough for anyone… i thought my best friend at the time…a girl older than me by 1 year and 1 month… i always thought she was beautiful and boys always seemed to like her… i mean…why would they like me… she was already fully developed… me on the other hand…chubby…flat chested and wore glasses…but yeah… that’s how it was for me…

as i got older..yeah depression always reared it’s ugly head every now and then… unrealistic reasons like my mother doesn’t love me… i know now that’s not true… but then when you’re in a depressed state.. your perception of reality is a bit skewed… suddenly memories of my mother telling me no…or saying “i hate you.” come flooding the mind… but yeah she only said that to me cause as a spoiled child..i said it to her because i couldn’t get my way… even to this day i hate the word “no.”

now lets see… i’m thinking about my triggers and i really dont know what they are… the only time that i can recall currently getting depressed is when i have an argument with hubby..but i’m sure there should be others… and  as i’m reading this new book i bought… it has a listing of possible triggers and some more triggers became apparent to me… on the list of triggers there are…

  1. loss of a job
  2. loss of a relationship
  3. death of a close friend or family member
  4. increased stress at school or work
  5. medical illness or injury
  6. moving to a new place
  7. having a baby.
  8. seasonal changes
  9. graduating
  10. alcohol or drug use
  11. changes in sleep pattern
  12. argument with a friend or family member
  13. criticism from a family member
  14. financial loss or setback
  15. a family members illness or medical issue
  16. medication changes
  17. menstrual cycle
  18. traveling / vacation
  19. getting married
  20. failing a class
  21. changing jobs
  22. changes in daily routine

Now those are the triggers that are on the list but there are blank spaces where you can write you own but for me this list pretty much covers it…

for me i checked off…

loss of a relationship, argument with a friend or family member, criticism from a family member, financial loss or setback, and a family members illness or medical issue… now that’s amazing because until i actually seen this list i didnt know what my other triggers were…

now with my therapist leaving, that falls into the loss of a relationship category so i should expect to go into a depression when he leaves for good… ugh… not looking forward to it but what can i do…

i hope this list was helpful for those of you who dont know exactly what your triggers are… i’m always learning and doing my best to stay educated on this disorder…

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