Pouring my heart out

so i’m feeling better now that i bought a card for my therapist and pretty much poured my heart out on it… i mean i really needed to let my feelings out and really tell him how much of an impact he made to me in these few months… and i did it in the form of a thank you card.. i mean i also wrote my number and email address but i know he wont be in touch with me after he leaves… it’s worth a try..

How do you cope with goodbyes.. i mean to be honest when i was at work i wanted to have a drink so bad… or maybe something else to relax my mind and get this goodbye off my mind..i mean the new place hes going to isnt done until august but it still stands that he doesnt know how many sessions we have left… and the uncertainty is what bothers me too…

when he told me about his leave i was sad but i did my best to at least seem ok and happy for him… but im really not… i’m still not… and it’s not that i dont want him to move forward… that’s not it at all..i’m just sad that he’s leaving… but it’s a part of life and this is just another lesson..

i start thinking… like.. i dont feel like opening up again… trusting again..repeating the same stories again… if the possibility of my next therapist can leave as well… i just feel like wounds are opening.. i dont know.. i’m just glad that i can vent here….

i feel like going out somewhere and having a drink…but i cant forget..i have alcohol here at home… =) thats always nice…