Guess we can’t be friends

So I’m in a cab now heading home from hanging with my good friend that i’ve known since the 90’s we used to date at one point but for many years we’ve just been friends and … I’m feeling very uncomfortable… u know my therapist always talks to me about setting boundaries… I met up with him down Fordham and we hung out he took me out to eat at a Spanish restaurant and we went to a bar for a drink…

I can tell he was just looking at me up and down at the bar but I didn’t think anything of it… he said I looked real nice so I hugged him because he’s a good friend and I was happy to see him and be with him in that moment and then it happened…

he held the hug a little longer than I was expecting and he ran his hands up and down my back down to my butt and I pulled away and looked at him… to that he said “let’s go somewhere and be naughty” I laughed it off and he said he was “serious”.. I have a hard time saying no… but I said to him “I’d be very uncomfortable with that” he did make me feel so sexy and desired though.. but damn it’s never from the person i want it from… lol

We ended up just walking around and hung out in a park… I sat on the top part of the bench and he stood in front of me grabbing my thighs telling me that he “wanted to worship my body” that I didn’t have to do anything… I told him that’s not the relationship we have anymore… he said that having sex with me would make him so “happy ” that he was thinking about it on the way to New York… but not that he was planning on anything..just seeing how sexy i look made him want to have sex with me…

this saddens me because I don’t think I can be alone with him as a friend anymore because he said that he will “always” hit on me even when I’m old and grey…

then we head to the sneaker store and he grabs my ass… and when he did that for me it’s just over… now I can’t be his friend… he apologized for being “attracted” to me… he said he always was attracted to me…

yeah I think this “friendship” is over…

so as i’m getting out the cab in front of my building…he texts me…

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that’s def not going to happen… im just sad that any guy friend i have, i have some sort of issue with this… i guess i cant have guy friends… =(

it gets me into way too much trouble but i’m glad that i held my own as much as i could and i didnt go to the hotel with him or anything like that… i just came home…