Better thinking… or getting there

Today was a good day at work… i finished all of my prep work early and i had most of the day to just focus on my main job… It’s been raining all day which left the restaurant empty for the most part… but anyway this blog isnt about work… it’s about how my feelings and thinking have improved a bit…

for this past week i’ve had strong feelings to stay away from my therapist and not even speak to him but i remember that i made a commitment to keep going and to always be upfront and honest with him…

i can honestly say that i dont know where those thoughts came from…i  actually tried reaching out to him today to let him know how i was feeling and maybe he can make some sense of it…but he wasnt in the office… i just hope i’m not being a pest…i’m not his only patient…

today i told hubby that i wanted to go back to school… i want to study psych… i always liked the subject and maybe in the future i can help people in that department… bu ti dont know if being diagnosed with a mental illness will disqualify me from getting work in that field… not sure..but who knows…

I spent money today that i wish i didnt spend… now i have to pay it back… i mean i didnt borrow it… i had it…but now when i get my next check i have to replace what i used today… i bought a new iphone because the one that i had sucked…

i hope i dont bore my readers with this post but you know it’s just a commitment i made to myself to write here every day…

but anyway i think those feelings about not going to therapy are passing… i do honestly feel bad for feeling that way and it was so intense..i like i completely wanted to cut him and therapy off… but i guess it was just a moment…

i’ve been listening to this song for the past 2 days cant get it out of my head….not a bad… i’m still standing… yeah yeah yeah…