Splitting – Borderline Personality

I believe i’m having a borderline day… and like in my last blog i believe i am “Splitting” on my therapist but i’m actually trying to fight the feeling by discussing it with him.. still waiting on a response…

But i do want to talk about my experience with splitting… it’s an all or nothing feeling… see things as black and white no grey areas… i want to discuss my experience with splitting….

I would split when i feel i’m not getting the attention i want or i perceive that i am being ignored… for instance…tumblr_lswsyiRofY1qmxmrao1_r1_400

i have a real good girl friend .. she’s kinda like a besty.. and you know what’ funny… now that i mention her… it brings about feelings about what i’m about to discuss… i’ve split on her many times and what’s funny is she doesnt even know it… i dont think most people know that i’ve done it to them…

anyway i’ve split on her when i feel for instance i’m messaging her more than she’s messaging me or i’m reaching out to her more than she messages me so i would just stop writing to see if she would write me…and this can go on for days or weeks… and i get the terrible realization that she wont write me unless i write back which further proves that she doesnt value me or my friendship…  ugh…  but yeah

so next i would block her… or cancel my social media accounts for a while and just disappear to see if she would notice or anyone for that matter… and you know what i realize… no one does..this sucks… . smh…

ugh… i’m getting into a mood right now… =(

i havent spoken to her in a few days and yes.. i was the last one to make contact…

CUT OFF… that’s pretty much how it goes…

i dont know what to say right now…  i just want to disappear..

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