Feelings..borderline thinking?

you know after comments written by one of my readers i am feeling a little better but the feelings are still there. I sent an email to my therapist asking him to call me when he can but it’s after 5pm he’s probably on his way home.. hopefully tomorrow or by later today i can rationalize these feeling on my own without him…

It kind of reminds me splitting of the borderline thinking… where most of the time i really enjoy my sessions and i look forward to the next.. now i just dont even want to bother and i just want to stay away completely… but i’m fighting those feeling because there’s no real reason… maybe there is something i want to avoid and not discuss or something else .. i dont know… all i know is that i started feeling like this on tuesday when i emailed him that i felt safe enough to discuss anything with him…and from that moment it was done.. i immediately felt i shouldnt have sent that and i dont want to face him or see him… but that really makes no sense because i didnt write anything bad.. i dont know.. maybe i feel like i’m a pain in the ass… who knows…

i definitely dont want to destroy the relationship because like i said he’s real good..

how do i go from being gun ho about therapy to just not being interested..

i guess i just need some guidance.. i’m more screwed up than i thought…


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