bipolar bipolar 2

wow… what a day.. full of impulsivity…

I dont even know where to begin.. i feel like i did so much today… i went to my therapist… after that i went home to walk my dog then i was gone… i left to go see my mother and we did some shopping.. as we were walking to the next store…there was a lady who was on the floor as we walked by this Chinese store… and there was this guy just filming her at what seemed to be a very low point in her life..i almost walked by but something told me to go back and help her… so yeah the guy is filming me trying to pick up this lady… i picked her up off the floor all by myself and sat her down on the bench in the chinese store and as i’m picking her up the guy is telling me she’s getting off drugs… so for me that’s an even bigger reason to help because she could die from the effects of withdrawal… it’s a very very dangerous thing to go through… he was kinda saying it so that i would leave her on the floor but i couldnt just leave her there.. i put her on the bench and asked her if she needed medical attention or an ambulance… she mentioned she was ok… so i just left her there.. i really hope shes’ ok…

my next stop was my cousins house who’s not too far from my mothers so i went and i saw my aunt and uncle but my cousin wasnt there.. and while i was there i got a facebook notification that one of my friends was nearby so i called him over and over he didnt pick up… when he finally called me he said he was still in the neighborhood… i left my cousins house and i met up with him..i had never met him before but i just wanted to get into something..i didnt want to come straight home..i feel like i’m always home… so i met up with my guy friend.. he was with some other guys there and we chatted for a few mins and then i left… i was just thinking where could i go next… then

i decided to take a cab to another friends house… well not really a friend because i havent seen her so long and i felt like she’s been kind of avoiding me… turns out it’s not that at all…but anyway.. she wasnt home, but her husband was… we talked and he mentioned how i lost so much weight… he gave me a Four Loco that i had left in his house for about 8 years… he mentioned that his wife…my friend hasnt been the same since her mother died… i get it… i never took it personally that i felt like she was avoiding me… it just was…what it was…

I had been in touch with my former bestfriends mother… and she said she was in school but by the end of the day i stopped by and she wasnt home but her daughter was outside the building waiting for her to come home too… i was only waiting about 5 mins before she came walking down the block and i gotta say it felt good to see her.. i mean i was bestfriends with her son for over 20 years but we had a fallout in 2014 and now i’m “dead to him.” apparently not to his family.. we talked and had such a good chit chat.. she was mentioning to me about not thinking about getting pregnant will help to get me pregnant… i dont know… i feel like i’ve done the not thinking about it thing for many years and nothing.. it was really good to be around his family and i still felt the love that i once had…

this is the kind of day that i’m glad to have..full of experiences and feelings… i gotta say it was a good day… now i’m home and hubby is out with his buddies having some drinks… i’m home in bed watching a movie and typing this blog… yes i can type without looking at the screen lol…

i noticed i only ate once today and i’m not hungry… i guess that’s a good thing.. all i had today was a slice of pizza and a diet coke… oh yeah and a cup of coffee at the therapy office.. anyway

. tomorrow comes a busy day at work..and i dont look forward to it… eh

here goes tomorrow…

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