Therapy tomorrow ..hmmmm

So tomorrow yet again I meet with my therapist and I have no idea what to talk about… i must replay the week in my mind and see what’s really worth discussing…when I’m on Seroquel nothing really bothers me… so the search begins on what to talk about…

I guess I can talk to him about why I made the decision to get back on my meds…. this has happened before where I have no idea what to really discuss in our hour long session…

I’m afraid that he would think I’m all better and we can stop therapy… but it feels good to know that I have someone there when I need a professional ear…

it’s troubling because when I’m on Seroquel nothing bothers me… I’m not happy… sad… anxious or anything like that.. I feel like I have emotionally flat lined… are “normal” people like this… I mean people who don’t have any sort of mental illness?

I gotta say I kinda like the ups and downs I get because at least I feel human… I feel more alive and full of emotion… I don’t know…

but I don’t like how impulsive I get when I’m off… my therapist says I have to take the good with the bad…

I def don’t like my bouts of depression… I guess I’m just confused… I like bein without meds and in some ways I do like being on meds…

I have to find a balance maybe I’ll do a pros and cons list… that should be interesting… I mean I don’t even particularly feel sexy… and I love feeling high in confidence being that I do get sad a lot of the time…. having a day where I feel great and I can hear the birds singing is great…

what do other people do in that situation.when they dont know what to discuss…?.. do they bring up their past… relationships..parents.. i have no idea… i cant really describe any emotions because i havent felt any… no sadness…no happiness, no anxiety… just flat lined on the emotional factor… .. i dont know what to do in that situation but oh well.. i’ll have to think and dig deep.

just call me confused lol

well I’m on my way downtown NYC to get my iPad fixed…

4 comments

  1. I went to a therapist once and it gave me so much anxiety to think about what we’d talk about. I had to stop. Not for me. I only went a handful of times. I think it’s a good idea to just maybe talk about going back on meds. You can tell him you feel flat due to the meds and maybe he will take it from there? ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah I just seem to accept that this is how I’m going to be until after my body gets used to it… it’s a day by day thing I just can’t wait for the days to pass lol so I can at least feel a little like myself and I’ll have more to discuss

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I completely understand about feeling when I don’t have anything to talk about that my therapist is going to decide that I’m all better and don’t need to see her anymore. I don’t think they do that , but I understand the worry. I think a pros and cons list is a great thing to make and maybe even bring into therapy with you. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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