bipolar bipolar 2 borderline personality disorder

Suicidal Thoughts

Never Give Up, handwritten on a sticky noteSo I’ve never really confessed this to anyone… maybe not even my therapist..i’m not sure… but the thought of suicide is a thought in my mind every day… The thoughts don’t make me sad unless i’m in a depressive state… I could be shopping or reading a book and then a passing thought of offing myself will come… It doesn’t scare me… it just kinda lingers there. I’ve never attempted.

So I confessed this to my husband yesterday on our way home from dinner and he gave me (what I perceived as) a judgmental look… I don’t know if it was a look that meant “you’re stupid” or maybe a look of him being scared…I really don’t know but it just seemed to me judgmental…

Has this happened to anyone?

I have to see my therapist next week so i’ll bring it up and see what he thinks about that…

8 comments

  1. Yes this is me every day as well. Sadly I’ve acted on it quite a few times. Obviously unsuccessfully. Last time police held me for 72 hours.
    But yes the thought is always there. That maybe the people in my life would be better off without worrying about me?
    But don’t please.

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    1. Yeah that’s how it is for me… I have chronic feelings of people not caring about me so it wouldn’t make a difference if I did it… of course these are not rational thoughts it’s just what I go through… I won’t attempt… thank you for posting… ur appreciated

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  2. I have this every day as well. And it’s usually just casual though I’ve had several deeper depressions where I had to kind of watch myself and talk about it a little more with my psychiatrist. But it’s usually like I’ll be walking or driving along and idly think about walking or driving directly into traffic.

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