bipolar bipolar 2 borderline personality disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder

BPD

Before i was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 i was doing some research of my own and i came up with my own conclusion that i had BPD. When i went to my therapist in the beginning, i had given him my reasoning behind it as well as the symptoms.

I checked out the handy dandy DSM-5 which is the therapist counseling guidebook and it goes over all of the disorders and their symptoms as well as treatment options. So when i went to my therapist with this evidence, he pretty much said “hmm, i’m not convinced.” i thought i had a strong argument, but in the end he was right to diagnose me with bipolar because i can relate to that a bit more. As a matter of fact, alot more. I just have a few borderline traits pretty much..

Anyway i wanted to share what these symptoms are for Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD. For someone to be diagnosed they have to fit about 5 or 6 of the criteria, i felt i had 8 out of 9. I think i feel these symptoms when i’m in a depressive state. Anyway, here are the symptoms.

  1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
  2. Unstable and intense interpersonal relationships – (splitting)
  3. Lack of clear sense of identity
  4. Impulsive in potentially self damaging behaviors.
  5. Recurrent suicidal threats or gestures or self mutilating behaviors
  6. Severe mood shifts and extreme reactivity to situational stresses
  7. chronic feelings of emptiness
  8. frequent and inappropriate displays of anger.
  9. Transient stress related feeling of unreality or paranoia.

Many of these in my opinion are symptoms of bipolar during a down phase i think.

One thing about me i do have an All or nothing attitude, i either love you or hate you. Thats called black or white thinking. I would idolize someone for a time but if their not up to my expectations or they dont treat me or even talk to me for a while, i’m over it and i dont care if i ever speak to them again. Its really nuts and annoying to feel like that. I would intentionally not post on FB or IG to see if ANYONE reaches out to see if i’m ok. when they dont after a while, i’ll deactivate my social media for a while because i feel if they dont miss me now, they wont when i’m gone. And that starts my spiral downward where i feel no one cares about me or i’d be better off dead cause no one cares…of course i know that bipolar disorder is a liar and all of these thoughts are false but they feel so real at the time.

I hope this blog post was informative and an insight into what goes on in my mind and heart.

Can any of you relate?

 

4 comments

  1. I’ve never read a list like that that I can agree with all 9. Really struggling right now. I’m glad to know that some of those symptoms are not unique to me.

    Like

  2. Omg, I’ve definitely done the whole social media loyalty test thing, including deleting my birthday info the day before my birthday just to see if anyone would remember. Didn’t matter that I didn’t remember the birthdays of the people I grew angry with. I’m glad you’ve received a diagnosis that fully encompasses your sense of self. For years, I knew that depression and anxiety wasn’t the entirety of what I was dealing with. I’ve been settled on BPD but bipolar was definitely on my list of possibilities!

    Liked by 1 person

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